I often feel frustrated. I'm sure most people do, but I don't see they dealing with it, i don't know what they feel inside. do you know what the guy standing in line next to you is feeling? nope. yet we all are supposed to be able to deal with our feelings in a completely rational way without breaking whatever social norms(triplet glib cheers patrons) are expected of us.
I get the feeling that no one really knows what the hell they are doing. Just moving through life hoping that they look like everyone else. happy, and well adjusted. well, Im not. I barely even know what that is, let alone what i'm supposed to do about it.
I kind of feel bad that this isn't the blog you were expecting to read. I haven't posted in... 9 months? 16? no idea. you were probably expecting to read something fun and light.
Most people see the guy I project. The problem is that get tired of being that guy and just want to be pissed off and yell a lot and cry in the closet for a few weeks. In some ways that might be the best vacation. A vacation from sanity. You've heard the phrase "lets go crazy!", I think it may actually be a good idea to literally go crazy for a week. Allow yourself to ignore all social niceties, and just vacate the world... for a little while. I guess im wondering if, in some cases, insanity is a choice.
I promise that next week when i dont feel like this anymore and am once again a happy dude, ill post so you dont think I am actually fully crazy, rude, nasty, fowl, breakdancing, irritating and foolhearty. Itll be something nice and flowery.
Im just.... tired of everything.
Hankey...check
Dark closet... check.
sanity...
10 comments:
I have no response to that.
Except, sounds like it sucks. I don't think I love your life lately...since it's not sounding like you do. And of course I mean it all in a nice and sisterly way.
Sorry to hear that you're hurting right now. Keep your chin up. I personally preferred to lock myself in the bathroom, soak in the bath until my toes look like prunes and the water turns cold, and give myself a good sob - while listening to melancholy music.
I only do this when the hubby is gone and the boys are in bed. There's something refreshing about sobbing when you know that there's nobody to ask questions.
Chrys~
I'll take a vacation from sanity with you- I'm somewhat of an expert on that!
I'm sorry you're hurting, Eric. I know how you feel, because that's how I feel a lot of the time. It sucks. And you know what? It's okay. Sometimes you need a break from life. It's good for you to just be the raw you sometimes- especially when you are feeling extreme emotions like this. There's no need to apologize for your feelings, they are what they are.
I know you have to go out of town a lot. Maybe next time, when you have some time, you can just lay down in your hotel room and let yourself cry. And Eric- you know you can always talk to me. Heaven knows I've needed to talk to you sometimes! I'm good at helping others, and I'm a good listener. I'm serious, Eric. You can always talk to me.
I love you!
ML
Wow - Psycho! I cant beleive you can just put yourself out there like that. Its psycho and refreshing kinda at the same time. Im the opposite of you. Im just happy all the time. Seriuosly. Its hard for me to understand why you feel the way you do. I do get down sometimes, but its easy for me to get back up and choose to be happy. Anyways I hope you feel better soon. I like to just think about my blessings and consider that Im not being torn apart by sharks or something worse, and then things dont seem so bad after all. so hang in there, maybe go see a movie or eat some ice cream, and remebere that in just 4 days you can legally light fire to explosives!
Alright, Mr./Ms. Anonymous...
Ice cream and lighting explosives doesn't really cut it for someone who suffers from depression.
I'm thinking the PSYCHO one is YOU. What other kind of person other than a RETARD and PSYCHOTIC MORON would be so insensitive to someone's feelings like you just were!? "Go eat some ice cream" or "Go to a movie"?! REALLY!? You honestly believe that doing something as simple as that will make everything magically better? Don't you think if it were that easy that he would have already done something like that?! People with depression can't just "choose" how they feel sometimes. Maybe you can, in your far-from-reality life, Mr. "I'm Happy ALL THE TIME!!!!"
And you honestly want to tell him to go count his blessings? How do you know he doesn't do that on a daily basis? Eric is VERY grateful for everything and everyone in his life. His family and children are the reason his depression doesn't get the better part of him.
Don't you dare call Eric "Psycho" because he is not. He is having a hard time with depression right now, and saying what you just said is in NO WAY helpful or insightful.
So BACK OFF.
Eric, I love you.
To anonymous--maybe you think you're being helpful, but those are kind of the worst things you could possibly say. When you have the blues or something you can count your blessings and eat ice cream, but those things don't exactly help for actual depression. I'm just saying.
Guys, Chill.
Anonymous is a friend.
Only one person calls me "Psycho", and knowing him as I do, he really, truly is helping just by saying anything.
I love that Jana and Mer want to rip his eyes out because they think he is being mean.
Jana, Mer, you both know him and love him.
I feel your pain. I am so so sorry!!!
HAHA Jana and Mer, talk about Mama Bears. That's awesome. Eric they love you!
Hey guess what it's me again... The psycho guy. Mr anonymous. I left a comment on Mers blog the other night. It applies to you as well IM just too lazy to type the whole thing out again. But I would like to apologize for the horror of a comment that I did leave previously about just getting yourself happy through ice cream etc. So sorry and totally lame of me. So guess what? I discovered this past year that I too suffer from depression. I have always convinced myself that I was immune and had control of my happiness. That I could just yank myself out of it. But I also realized that I'm an addict as well. I have always used a number of addictions as a way of self medicating and burying my true feelings deep inside. Through the 12 steps I have finally found peace and freedom from my addictions. It has been very difficult. Depression has been a big discovery along the way. Anyway sorry
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